Shift

Again a huge gap in time to cover...I suppose I'll work backwards then, from what my terrible memory can recall.

Avlynka stepped down as CEO of Teraa Matar. It was a terrbily sad thing, but at the end of the day what matters is that everyone's still friends and tight-knit. A corporate ticker is a tiny, pale thing as compared to clan Marks.

This means Kikia has stepped up as CEO, and it is a major toll on her. It's not enough that she's pregnant when in her non-combat clone, but now she has to juggle leadership with everyday life. I will help her as best I can...and give my one-hundred percent.

The Kenkii is definitely more silent now. It bothers me. I miss when there was music and ritual going on in the commons. I only hope we can bring it all back and then some.

Into the Vat

I need to get away for awhile. Very few people seem to have any sort of confidence or trust in me. Some in Electus Matari still think I'm a Sansha spy. Kikia says I'm to blame for her feelings of isolation. So...there are perhaps two, maybe only one, people (or person) that really understand me and where I'm coming from. That's fine....not really. I love the family that Teraa Matar has become. So I will keep going on and studying for my Voluval. In a Dream. The real world is just stupidly hostile and distracting for the moment, and according to folks it's my fault. So the solution is simple: retreat from the scene for a bit and wisen up. So I'll be spending roughly a week connected to a VR interface, contemplating things.

For the more active reader of these logs, should you exist, you may still contact me via NeoCom mail. Physically I'll still be at home in the Kenkii, but mentally I'll be AUs away.

Scattered

I'm really not sure what to record here anymore. The daring exploits are becoming fewer and fewer. I suppose I could talk about working with the various Tribes and such...it's nothing unique, really.

Mostly, I just feel like everything in life has come to a standstill. The person I love most may (and probably does) not feel the same way for me. So....I'm rather fucked, to be quite blunt. My dreams of settling down on Matar and being some sort of family man and clan elder are quickly being replaced by a future with me doing the same exact shit I'm doing now. I don't know if I can handle another decade of this.

I do not ask for an easy path. I do ask for someone to tread it with. I simply cannot bear seeing such sights along the way and not being able to share them.

Correct

Well....I was right. And wrong. Whatever. Kikia's back, and that's all that matters.

As an aside, I could almost do ground combat for a living. I feel like I'm better at piloting a light attack vehicle than a Rifter....

Silence

It all makes sense now....the pieces have come together. Someone has been capturing us, one by one! I look through the corporate logs and many of us haven't reported in for months! Months! There is someone whisking us away....I won't have it. I won't!

Crypt

Fury will always be in my heart. Even in hisec, which I have not visited for over a year, I find myself thrashing the slavers about. There was an incident involving an Angel Cartel fleet; I may face court martial. Whatever. So after updating these logs I'm going to disconnect all the interfaces from my pod and just float, clearing my mind. It might do me some good.

Truth

Today was pretty intense. There was some battling in Dal over complexes. Anya, Conventia, Samantha, myself, and a newer pilot named Kerono all worked hard at ending the Amarrian occupancy there.

Of course, as large a dent as we put in their system-wide security networks, we didn't get a shot at the bunker.

Oh well. I've managed to build two Arbitrators today, which is great. They are the perfect support ship for these sorts of operations, and should serve me well. After the flight I went over to the Last Gate for some drinks.

Astrid definitely does not approve of my drinking habits. I suppose she's right though. It really only helps me feel warm and fuzzy until the next morning when I wake up.