Hourglass

Months. It's been months since I've updated these logs. I'll spare the backstory and simply focus on the present.

Teraa Matar is great. If ever I could call myself succesful in anything as a capsuleer, it is now. I'm becoming more efficient in combat in just about every way, though I am still quite green. This is all excellent.

As a person, things have been...complicated. The short-term memory loss is becoming rather apparent now. At first I attributed it to lack of sleep (I quit Sooth Sayer a few weeks back, which was how I fell asleep many nights), but now I'm not so sure. Hell, I had great difficulty even accessing these logs because I couldn't remember how to access it. I mentioned the memory problems to some newcomer (whom I had apparently already spoken to at some previous point, which I failed to recollect) and I was once again asked if drugs were the issue. I suppose old demons always haunt, eh?

I mention the memory problems first and foremost because they lead to another unfortunate personal event which I will not go into detail describing here. Suffice it to say, a dearest of friends was badly hurt. At the end of the day it boiled down to me not-remembering. If what she said is true (which I'm sure they are), I damn well wish I could remember these things. Such things are worth remembering.

An hourglass which has been flipped does not remember the last hour. It focuses only on the present, keeping it in consideration at all times until the sand stops flowing. With every podding I am flipped.