Spire

Today was the first day that really stood out in awhile. I managed to acquire and sell off a beautiful Fleet-issue Tempest, which got me enough ISK to get a pilot's license extension. So that's that for another month.

I took the Incursus I had been fitting together for a test flight. Back in the days of Shaktipat I had flown the Incursus quite a bit, but never was able to use tech-two blasters. What a world of difference! Loaded up with Null charges it can get some great range, and I sense it is quite easily capable of taking down its analog, the Rifter. Of course I managed to do this, and shortly after lost the Incursus to a sensor boosted Lachesis.

A shame. But at least I'm able to remember it.

Quicksand

The days are really starting to blur. Today I did what I often do: take down Imperial convoys transporting troops and supplies to their bases in the warzone. It's a shame, really. As many as I destroy, the Empire seems dead-set on keeping their war machine oiled and fueled. I can't blame them either: we do the same. It is odd, being able to take the lives of a hundred-some crewmen aboard an industrial ship with just a few thoughts. I used to question the morality of it all. I still do at times. It seems almost unreal that I can take down a dozen Bestower-class ships in service to the Empire on an almost daily basis. I wonder if I'm really doing it all, in fact, or if it's just some memory on repeat. The latter is not at all impossible, given recent events.

Hourglass

Months. It's been months since I've updated these logs. I'll spare the backstory and simply focus on the present.

Teraa Matar is great. If ever I could call myself succesful in anything as a capsuleer, it is now. I'm becoming more efficient in combat in just about every way, though I am still quite green. This is all excellent.

As a person, things have been...complicated. The short-term memory loss is becoming rather apparent now. At first I attributed it to lack of sleep (I quit Sooth Sayer a few weeks back, which was how I fell asleep many nights), but now I'm not so sure. Hell, I had great difficulty even accessing these logs because I couldn't remember how to access it. I mentioned the memory problems to some newcomer (whom I had apparently already spoken to at some previous point, which I failed to recollect) and I was once again asked if drugs were the issue. I suppose old demons always haunt, eh?

I mention the memory problems first and foremost because they lead to another unfortunate personal event which I will not go into detail describing here. Suffice it to say, a dearest of friends was badly hurt. At the end of the day it boiled down to me not-remembering. If what she said is true (which I'm sure they are), I damn well wish I could remember these things. Such things are worth remembering.

An hourglass which has been flipped does not remember the last hour. It focuses only on the present, keeping it in consideration at all times until the sand stops flowing. With every podding I am flipped.