Defeat

I knew going in that I'd probably not make it out with an intact ship. But damn, what are you going to do? Let them hold on to your system and take your people?

I warp to the minor complex in Amarr-occupied Vard, knowing full well there's a Griffin and Catalyst there, with a Cormorant as backup. I knew the Griffin wouldn't at all try to move, so I opted to go for more shields and not even bother with a propulsion jammer. It worked, until the Griffin jammed me. Just two more salvos and it would have been down...opening up many more tactical options against the remaining two.

Typical Amarrian bullshit.

I then scouted around in a Rifter and encountered a Sentinel. Having piloted one of these things myself, I knew where its weakness was: an absolute lack of guns of its own. I kept a good fifteen kilometer range from the Sentinel, though this was still within his energy neutralizer range. No issue. I even took out four of his drones. Great. Too bad the Sentinel has sixty cubic meters of drone bay space....it was a long and drawn out loss.

At this point I figure I should at least try to make up for my losses and go mineral scavenging in the belts with my recently-built but modestly-fit Cyclone. A poor mistake. A suspicious-looking Drake was in one of the belts and they quickly locked me down. The Y-T microwarp drive was shut off by his scrambler. I was doomed, even with Hornet ECM drones on him. That too was a long and drawn out ship loss, lasting about two minutes or so.

And so, dear logs, the temptation to simply quit the combat profession against other capsuleers is tempting. One simply cannot win without superior numbers or equipment. Tactics be damned; the capsule makes it too easy for an opponent to win by slightly superior tech alone, nevermind numerical advantages.

It is frustrating that there hasn't been a ship engineered to rush into a group of enemies and detonate, inflicting massive damage on them. I would probably be quite at home with such a ship, and it would definitely tip the balance of power away from mere numbers and more towards those skilled in stealth and speed.

Anomaly

I usually don't make two logs for one day-period.

Today went alright. As I mentioned before, there was some minor skirmishing in Ezzara, and I managed to move some metals around and built a Cyclone. So that's good.

My tinkering went awry, however. Aphoxema appears to have gotten ahold of that datapad I swore I wiped; she found out everything. Not that these logs are particularly private, but rather they're just not very well-known. And I'm not sure if she only saw that paritcular log entry, or now sees every log entry. In any case, she's had some bad history with Nation and didn't want me to mess with any of the implants, regardless of what state of functionality they were in.

No, really. She microwaved them. In a microwave.

At least she didn't get into the biomass. But then those will be useless, without the implants. Looks like another trip to Arzad for a day of ironically harvesting Nation ships for metals and samples. It always seems like tritanium is lacking, after all.

Legion

Today was the second day in which I and Samantha Vosh attempted to engage enemies in Ezzara. Of course, they flee if they suspect they'll lose the fight and come back later with bigger guns and friends. Typical.

My recruiting pool is becoming strained. I am very picky about the crews I acquire, and so manning anything larger than destroyers tends to be a hassle. Avlynka wants to shift fleet tactics, which is wonderful and will lead to more crew survivability. It's just hard finding the right kind of people for the job. I am encountering the same problems I've always had in the empire-controlled sectors of space: lack of fanatic zeal. In this regard, I miss Delve and Stain. Got to adapt to the job, I suppose.

In other news, the toying with the implants hasn't really yielded anything new. Not that I was really trying to get any specific results as much as I was seeing what sort of use I could get out of the things. So far the only use I've found is scaring the hell out of myself whenever I see they're still communicating with their relays. In fact, I should probably clear and trash this datapad upon finishing this entry for fear of being tracked; I shouldn't have connected it to the blasted things after all.

Echo

It's been very quiet around the Kenkii lately. Everyone's too busy out in space or something, I guess. I miss Kikia, but her duties are quite important, so I understand that. Aphoxema's been cooking great food lately, too. I look forward to a corp dinner.

I've been taking a more active role against Sansha's Nation lately. It's...not an easy fight. Most others blow up Nation ships with little regret. I feel regret, because I know every soul aboard that Nightmare-class is nearly gleeful in knowing they've served their Master and his cause. You will never meet a crew in the cluster like a True Slave crew; so content with going down in flames.

I'm still not really sleeping, which is fine. I take up my night hours with experiments and pouring over raw data. I actually managed to find some True Slave samples more or less intact from a wreck in Arzad. Of course the host is quite deceased but many of the implants still work, if provided with power. I'll keep playing around with them, I guess. The implants, that is, not the biomass they were attached to.

On a side note, industrial production is up a bit. The wreckage from Sansha ships is great for scavenging usable materials to reprocess. My ambition is to begin battlecruiser production as soon as possible.

Spire

Today was the first day that really stood out in awhile. I managed to acquire and sell off a beautiful Fleet-issue Tempest, which got me enough ISK to get a pilot's license extension. So that's that for another month.

I took the Incursus I had been fitting together for a test flight. Back in the days of Shaktipat I had flown the Incursus quite a bit, but never was able to use tech-two blasters. What a world of difference! Loaded up with Null charges it can get some great range, and I sense it is quite easily capable of taking down its analog, the Rifter. Of course I managed to do this, and shortly after lost the Incursus to a sensor boosted Lachesis.

A shame. But at least I'm able to remember it.

Quicksand

The days are really starting to blur. Today I did what I often do: take down Imperial convoys transporting troops and supplies to their bases in the warzone. It's a shame, really. As many as I destroy, the Empire seems dead-set on keeping their war machine oiled and fueled. I can't blame them either: we do the same. It is odd, being able to take the lives of a hundred-some crewmen aboard an industrial ship with just a few thoughts. I used to question the morality of it all. I still do at times. It seems almost unreal that I can take down a dozen Bestower-class ships in service to the Empire on an almost daily basis. I wonder if I'm really doing it all, in fact, or if it's just some memory on repeat. The latter is not at all impossible, given recent events.

Hourglass

Months. It's been months since I've updated these logs. I'll spare the backstory and simply focus on the present.

Teraa Matar is great. If ever I could call myself succesful in anything as a capsuleer, it is now. I'm becoming more efficient in combat in just about every way, though I am still quite green. This is all excellent.

As a person, things have been...complicated. The short-term memory loss is becoming rather apparent now. At first I attributed it to lack of sleep (I quit Sooth Sayer a few weeks back, which was how I fell asleep many nights), but now I'm not so sure. Hell, I had great difficulty even accessing these logs because I couldn't remember how to access it. I mentioned the memory problems to some newcomer (whom I had apparently already spoken to at some previous point, which I failed to recollect) and I was once again asked if drugs were the issue. I suppose old demons always haunt, eh?

I mention the memory problems first and foremost because they lead to another unfortunate personal event which I will not go into detail describing here. Suffice it to say, a dearest of friends was badly hurt. At the end of the day it boiled down to me not-remembering. If what she said is true (which I'm sure they are), I damn well wish I could remember these things. Such things are worth remembering.

An hourglass which has been flipped does not remember the last hour. It focuses only on the present, keeping it in consideration at all times until the sand stops flowing. With every podding I am flipped.